Why Kanda dislikes Greenland
by blackstarlightgirl
Summary: A total crack fic involving an OC, Kanda, Greenland, and a heater afterwards. "What is this moron thinking?" you might ask. read and discover a whole new world of D. Gray-man you never knew. Kanda OOC-ness at the very end.


**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-man. There I one OC, and another implied.**

Kanda and Mona's freezing adventure

**Kanda POV**

There was only one thought in Kanda's mind as he walked through the halls of the Black Order.

'_Why is it so fucking cold in here?'_

He had just returned from a mission in Greenland. Greenland? Or was it Iceland? Whichever the freezing, icy one was; and he didn't like how it had gone.

_**Flashback**_

The wind was blowing freezing air into Kanda's scowling face as he trudged through the knee deep snow bank.

'_The Innocence has to be here somewhere.'_ The exorcist thought, not wanting to be out there when the snow picked up again.

There had been a report of a swarm of akuma heading to the Ice/Greenland area, so Kanda and an amateur Finder had been deployed to search for any Innocence the akuma may have been after. But the Finder didn't seem to understand that he didn't like to talk, or be called by his first name.

"Uh…Yuu-chan are you listening? I just said that you're going the wrong way." He would have threatened the Finder by now but Kanda didn't like to threaten girls. He may be a jerk but he still had his moral standards. But, unfortunately for the Finder, Kanda had just run out of patience.

"Don't call me Yuu. I'm not your friend, so don't act like I am." He growled at her.

"Oh I'm sorry. One of the other exorcists told me that you didn't mind being called Y-…by your first name." the Finder tried to explain over the, now raging, wind.

Kanda spotted a cave about a half-mile away.

"Come on." He grabbed her arm and roughly yanked her in the direction of the natural shelter.

They got to the cave before the weather got any worse, so they didn't freeze to death. That should have been a good sign, but Kanda got a bad feeling about the cave. Something wasn't right in the cold, damp rock shelter.

"What'cha lookn' at?"

"Shut up."

"You're mean Kanda-kun!" she pouted, but Kanda only glared back at her. They were stuck in that cave for five hours with the blizzard not showing any signs of letting up.

After anther half hour, the wind finally died down a bit and they set out once more, Kanda still wary of the cave.

Surprisingly enough, Kanda had actually talked to the female Finder and got to know a little bit about her. Her name was Mona, she was from Italy, and she joined the Black Order after her brother, Ezio, disappeared leaving her stranded in a small town outside of London. She was only using the Black Order so she could find her brother, at least at first she was. After she told him that though, she refused to look at him.

Kanda didn't mind the silence at first, but now it was just plain awkward. She obviously wasn't going to start talking any time soon. So how was he supposed to lift the layer of awkward silence? He didn't like the answer.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. He really didn't like the answer. With a sigh, he asked, "So this brother of yours…How'd he disappear?" Kanda hated asking questions about other people, it made it seem like he was interested in them and gave them the idea that he wanted to be their friend. He doesn't need any friends, he only needs to destroy akuma, and caring about others would interfere with that mission.

Mona looked at Kanda for a minute, a little shocked that he asked her a question, but then she smiled stupidly at him and said, "I didn't think that you'd want to know anything about me or my family, Kanda-kun."

"Che." Was his response, turning his head, and returning to his aloof attitude.

Mona smiled. "He was out doing a…job. But after it was done, he disappeared. I looked for him but after another week had passed he hadn't come back. And I would appreciate it if you didn't mention my real motives for joining the Black Order." She looked at him pleadingly. "Please?"

"Fine." He couldn't stand to look at her begging anymore. That puppy-dog look of her's could have gotten Komui to actually _do_ his work, instead of goofing off and sleeping. Wouldn't that be a sight for sore eyes?

"Yay! Thank you, Kanda-kun!" she yelled jumping onto his back.

As you could probably guess, Kanda didn't like her jumping onto his back in the slightest bit. So he threw her off, gently (since she was a girl and all). She made a little yelp as she landed in a snow bank, sinking a few inches into the cold snow.

"Don't ever do that again."

"Sorry…" she sounded disappointed, but Kanda didn't seem to care.

"Che."

_**End of flashback**_

They hadn't found any Innocence, nor had they encountered any Akuma. Ridiculous right? Kanda considered it a total failure and a complete waste of time since he didn't get to destroy any Akuma. Plus he was now extremely cold. And Kanda hates the cold more than he hates people calling him by his first name.

The only warms rooms in the Black Order HQ were Komui's Office and the cafeteria.

For reasons of sanity, he chose the cafeteria.

Unfortunately for poor Kanda, the most aggravating people he knows were in the dining area, as if they were waiting for him to return.

The idiot rabbit was reading a thick book, green eye memorizing every word on the old, yellowed paper. Thankfully he was too absorbed in in the text to notice Kanda walking toward the heater.

The glorious heater. It looked like the best thing in the entire universe. Then, as if a divine force were forcing him to do it, Kanda rushed over the source of warmth, and proceeded to sit on the filthy floor, leaning against the heater, and began stroking it fondly.

'_So warm…'_ he thought lovingly, purring slightly.

….

**Mona POV**

'_Why is it so _medida _cold in here?'_ Mona thought rubbing her arms, as she made her way to the cafeteria. Her stomach growled at her to hurry up and get something to eat. But as she walked through the doorway into the dining area, she caught sight of the very two things she wanted to be near at that moment.

The heater and Kanda.

She then dashed to the heater and did exactly as Kanda had done just moments before.

'_Warm…'_

**Allen POV**

Allen Walker had gotten the vast amounts of food that made up his usual lunch and was going to find a seat when he saw the most bizarre sight.

Kanda and one of the new Finders were sitting on the dusty floor, leaning against the heater and…molesting it?

They were stroking the heater like a pedophile would do to a helpless child.

Allen was so shocked and creeped out that he just stood there staring, puzzled, at the two heater rapists, molest the poor, poor heater.

Still in shock, he sat down across from the reading Lavi, not touching his rather large pile of food.

Lavi looked up at Allen and asked what was wrong. Allen just pointed behind the Bookman-to-be. Lavi followed Allen's finger and saw Kanda and the female Finder with the heater. Then both he and Allen proceeded to pass out for their shock.

_**~Fin~**_

_**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this little bit o' sunshine, and please don't kill me for the Kanda OOC-ness, I was high off of computer fumes when I typed this up! **_

_**To those of you that may be reading this and hoping that i will get back to my other story, I'm trying. I really am but I'm swamped with stuff right now and I'm trying to make it through a sea of work. I'll try to get my writing gears going again, but until then please be patient with me.**_

_**Until we meet again. Vale!  
**_


End file.
